"Is this the party to whom I am speaking?"

Once in a while, I get a little snarky while I'm on the phone. Here are a couple of novelty greetings I've used in the past few months (don't worry - only on people I know!):

"Down-home Bait Shop and Fish Fry - you hook 'em and we cook 'em. How may I help you?"

"Roadside Bakery and Game Shop - we roll dough while you roll dice. This is Alan speaking."

(And just one more along those lines!) "Deep Blue Jewelers and Exotic Shark Aquarium - we make watches while you watch makos."

"I'm sorry, we're closed."

"This is 1534 - how may'st I help thee?"

What's the cleverest phone greeting you've ever said or heard?