Work-in-Progress: "The Jabberwocky"

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious antics of the slithy tove,
While I nodded, sleep transpiring, suddenly there came a gyring,
As of some one gently miring, miring as if on the rove.
`A mome visitor,' I muttered, `gyring as if on the rove -
Here at my door, not at the grove.'

Distinctly I recall the day, yes it was in the bleak of May,
And amid the sundial's footstone gimbled, gyred all the toves
Eagerly I wished 'twas brillig; - 'til the snapping of a dry twig
Marked the passage of a green pig - the raths that now would come in droves -
'Twas brillig and the mome raths outgrabe piteously all in a drove
On the wabe here in the grove.

... ... ...

More to come later - my brain is fried tonight! Feedback appreciated!

Here's a link to a glossary of terms, just in case!

I made this!

Tonight, under the expert tutelage of KB, one of my dear friends, I learned how to knit! Well, I say I learned how to knit, but really all I got out of it was a crash course in the basic mechanics. I feel like I've got a ways to go before I can even call myself "proficient", let alone anything so daring as "good"!

...And I'm sure any experienced knitters out there will agree with me. ;-P

Anywho, along with the embarrassment of "I can't believe how terrible this looks!" is a personal pride in the act of creation. Or maybe it's vanity? Either way, here's a photo! Don't you think it looks like California? I do!

Once I get settled into my semester and can get some stuff together, I'm going to keep working at it and try to become better! Thanks for lending me your supplies, your time, and your patience, KB!

"I don't know whether..."

Today would have been a good day to sleep in! When I got up a few hours ago, it was very grim and overcast. Now the sky is absolutely dumping down rain...and I'm about to have to leave the house! Ah well, such is the price for commitment to a job! Well, to be honest, it's more to the money the job provides than to the job itself. As anyone whom I've talked to recently can probably tell you, things have gone from "moderately frustrating" to "why the hell do I work here again?" over the past month or two. Still, that's where I work, and that won't change until I can get another job lined up!

But yes...money. That's been a big concern of mine, especially recently. Between tuition, student loans, and this semester's textbooks, not to mention gas for the commute to Durham, it's going to be very hard to save up any free cash for myself. I don't know how I'm going to save up for the Renaissance Festival in October! I need to figure something out. Fortunately I still have a month and a half!

Off to work now. Have a good (although maybe wet!) weekend!

A sinister update

There's actually nothing malicious OR left-handed about this one...

We heard back from the service shop this morning, and it turns out that the problem was with the alternator as predicted. It shouldn't be a difficult repair, and we were told we should get the car back by the end of the day.

...In which things take a turn for the sinister

Yes the title's a pun, because I've recovered from being lost almost a half dozen times today by making timely left turns. It's so very annoying when people I trust give me directions I trust...but the roads end up not being like they described them at all! I have decided that the consensual reality created by the sharing and accepting of directions is the actual truth, and what is falsification and lies is, in fact, the road system I perceive. Roads in central North Carolina, stop making no sense!

Now that that's aside, here's a rundown of my day

- I didn't have to work today, which was good.
- My father and I got a late breakfast and had a very enjoyable visit, which was good.
- Because of extinuating circumstances, I almost didn't get to finish my homework for class tonight and also it was sheer lucky chance that I checked my school email a second time, because the location for my class was changed at the last minute! That would have been bad.
- I found out the price of an on-campus parking ticket. It cost more than any of my textbooks. That was bad.
- Since I now knew I'd be parking several blocks away from campus, I decided to leave early so that I could not only find a suitable parking spot, but go to the campus bookstore and buy a textbook or two. That was...well, maybe not good, but it was at least responsible!
- Nothing went as quickly as I was expecting. I didn't leave town until close to an hour after I'd wanted to. That was bad
- Fortunately, the commute was easy! That was good.
- When I found my parking spot, I had to walk to the student union in one million degree heat and 10 trillion percent humidity. By the time I got to the center of campus I was literally dripping, and I'm not normally a heavy sweat-er! That was bad.
- Fortunately, I had the foresight to pack a change of clothes, just in case! That was good.
- At the bookstore, not only did they not have a copy of a textbook I needed, but had forgotten to order books for that class until the day before, so the books won't arrive until next week (Weds or Thurs, the bookstore manager predicted)...and I have an assignment due THIS Friday! That was bad.
- I found a nickel on the ground. That was good!
- First day of class = syllabus day. That was bad.
- First day of class = short class. That was good!
- After class, I got to see Michael+Rachel, Tess, AND Jerry! That was good.
- When I got to the train station to pick up Jerry, my car died. Prevailing theory is that the alternator went bad. That was bad.

We had to call a tow truck and everything. We managed to get the car started for a little bit and drive a short distance, but then the engine died, the power steering locked up, and the brakes nearly did as well...right in the middle of an intersection! Oh, no! Fortunately, a police officer was in a parking lot net even 50 yards from the intersection (I decided it was "none of my business" as to why a cop was chilling out in an empty parking lot near a college campus). He helped us push the car off the road, and then we had a grand old wait for the tow truck to arrive. It actually got there fairly soon, and the driver was extremely nice! He was helpful and professional, and friendly as well. He towed the car to our regular service station, and we left it there with a note explaining the situation for the next morning.

I was supposed to help my lil sis move into her dorm tomorrow, and I have to work in the afternoon. Now I don't have a car to do either. I'm sure we can improvise for the former, but I'll be stuck begging for rides until the proper repairs can be made...and hopefully they're not very expensive! The nickel I found earlier today was heads-up, so I hope that means I'll have 5x more good luck than if I'd found a penny!

I have to say that even though a lot of bad stuff happened today, the timing and circumstances of it all were amazingly fortuitous. I was able to take care of all my school errands within the parking time allotment so that I didn't get a ticket, and was able to move my car to a more convenient location before class started. I think I'm going to like my Organization of Information class (the one I'm taking on-campus); it's small (only about 12 people), and it sounds like we're going to be doing some hands-on projects instead of merely a theory-heavy course! And as for the car situations...every time I thought I was lost, I was able to find my way back onto the route I wanted (or an alternative route that ended up being just as good!) by making a timely left turn. I don't know why it worked, but it did! And when the car died (the first time), I had just pulled into a parking space, so I wasn't in a dangerous position! And the second time, there was no other traffic on a normally-busy road that could have caused our situation to be even worse! It's quarter past 3 now, and I've only just recently gotten home after having left over 12 hours ago. It's almost as though, even though bad stuff happens, it happens in the best way possible.

Now THAT is a semi-charmed life!

Vacation post 8: Epilogue and appendix

Here's a list of people I met on the beach this past week:

Sam
Reed (or maybe Reid)
Scout
Toby

I also met their owners.

Yep...that's about how my social life went while I was one vacation. Aside from family (who have an obligation to interact with me) and people paid to talk to me (wait staff and tour guides mostly), the only people I met this whole week weren't people at all. I met dogs. For some reason, this amuses me to no end. I do love that Oak Island is such a pet-friendly place; unlike how I imagine some places are, this island really goes out of its way to present itself as a family-friendly, easy-going place. Hopefully I'll be able to come back before too much more time passes.

And, while I'm still thinking of it, here is the full list of websites I said I'd locate for you all (and a few others that I just think are good ideas)!

North Carolina Zoo - http://www.nczoo.org/
Oak Island Sea Turtle Protection Program* - http://www.oakislandnc.com/turtles.htm
The Fish House (delicious sea food!) - http://www.southporttimes.com/fishhouserestaurant.html
NC Aquarium - http://www.ncaquariums.com/fort-fisher
Fort Fisher - http://www.nchistoricsites.org/fisher/fisher.htm
Fort Caswell - http://www.fortcaswell.com/about/history
Knytt Stories - http://nifflas.ni2.se/index.php?main=02Knytt_Stories
Plants vs. Zombies** - http://www.popcap.com/extras/pvz/

*After looking over their website, I found the answer to my question! The gestation (is it correct to refer to gestation for a creature that hatches from an egg? Does anyone know?) period for a sea turtle, or at least the breed of sea turtle common to Oak Island, is 55-90 days.

**I know I didn't mention this one previously, but I found a demo for this game lurking on my computer (I must have downloaded it ages ago and just forgotten), and when I sat down to try it out, I enjoyed my pants off! Er, hmm...that's actually not a very good figure of speech, but you know what I mean. You can download a demo from their website, but the full version costs about $20. I don't have that kind of money on hand at the moment (also, I haven't had Internet connection all week except for a half-hour at Port City Java), but the website is cute and interactive, and it has some cool features as well! One of the most interesting is the ability to create a Zombatar, a "zombie-fied" avatar of yourself! It's really cute, and the Zombatar is totally free!

Vacation post 7: Day Late, Dollar Short

I'm kind of amazed that almost half a week has gone by, and I've failed to mention the trip we took to Fort Fisher and the NC Aquarium. Someone does NOT get vacation points for that little oversight!

Anyhow, the other day me and mum and lit sis decided to take the ferry from Southport to Fort Fisher to do some sightseeing in that area. The ferry itself was pretty cool. Having lived most of my life in a relatively land-locked area, ferries are something new to me, except as transits at particularly quirky theme parks and other tourist sites. Therefore, they're small-ish boats, usually with standing capacity for 20-30 people (if that), that make voyages of 5-10 minutes. This was a SERIOUS ferry, however. The entryway was gated, and there was a $5 toll to go through. Instead of parking, we were told to wait in line and then DRIVE onto the ferry when it docked and we were given direction to do so. There were probably 50 or so cars on board when the ferry was completely loaded. Once the ferry embarked, we were allowed to leave our cars, and there was a passenger lounge and a few observation decks on the second level of the boat. No cheesy decorations, no "fun" music, just a half-dozen state employees in tan uniforms (like park rangers), each with some form of facial hair (I know that I personally saw moustache - thin, moustache - thick, goatee, and...I'm not sure what it's called, but the style of beard that is shaved thin so that it only follows the jawline. There was a photo of the ferry operators at the station on the other side, though, and the other men I don't remember seeing were also bearded and/or moustached), and a no-nonsense attitude.

After right around a half hour, we got to Fort Fisher. Fort Fisher is an old earthenworks fort that was built by the Confederacy during the Civil War. When Union troops were blockading southern ports to cut their supply lines and try to bring them down faster, places like Fort Fisher were built as impromptu lines of defense because more permanent structures were impractical, both because of the time and cost of building more permanent fortifications, and (this is my own speculation, but it seems very reasonable) because the heavy storms that often hit the North Carolina coast during hurricane season could be just as damaging to the fortifications as enemy fire. Anyhow, Fort Fisher was built as one of the last lines of defense for the city of Wilmington, an important Confederate port. The small number of troops stationed there put up a valiant display of soldiery against overwhelming odds (I may be mis-remembering the information I read so please excuse me if I got this wrong, but I believe the fort's defenders were facing 8 battalions of Union soldiers and heavy fire from around 50 Union warships). They were disadvantaged in nearly every way, and over the course of a long day of vicious fighting they were driven back and driven back and each line of defense was eventually overwhelmed, until, with only a single gun battery (called Buchanan's Battery) under their control, the Confederate soldiers surrendered to the Union troops. History is damn exciting when you learn about these parts of it, and the story behind Fort Fisher was extremely inspirational. Now, I'll admit that having lived the majorty of my life in the Southest United States, and having a tendency to root for the underdog anyway, I have a strong sympathy for the Confederacy. I don't mean to imply that I in ANY way support old ideas toward slavery or Civil War-era race relations...but the fact that an entity so obviously out-classed, out-resourced, and out-manned by their opposition, but led by inspired leaders and soldiered by men who were willing to devote themselves entirely to a cause (even if it wasn't fully understood) makes the Civil War an incredible story of hope and faith in the midst of chaos and turmoil. The Union's drive to re-unite this country and provide a greater level of freedom for all men, however, is equally inspiring. Since many Southern sources of history paint the Union as "bad guys" (I've even heard people jokingly (and some people completely seriously) refer to the Civil War as "the War of Northern Aggression), and even sources that attempt to be un-biased often portray the Union troops to appear as aggressors or instigators, it's harder to establish the same sort of rapport and sympathy toward the Union, even though their higher ideals were ultimately more just.

Anyway, Fort Fisher was really cool! Although over the decades since the end of the Civil War Fort Fisher hasn't received the care and preservation it probably ought to have gotten, a good portion of the earthenwork fortifications are still standing, and the public is allowed limited access to explore them. It was a hellaciously hot day when we went, but even in spite of that climbing all over the fort and taking pictures was tons of fun! According to mum, there used to be an entry point that allowed you to go inside the earthenworks and see some of the "cells" the soldiers would sleep in, or use as storage rooms, but the only entryway we were able to find into the fort was blocked off. Either that doorway no longer exists, or it's been closed to the public. That was very disappointing to find out! When I was a teenager, I spent a lot of time on retreat at Fort Caswell with the church I went to in Greensboro, and one of my greatest pleasures was putting on a good pair of shoes and exploring all the different fortifications at the site. If I'm remembering my history right (which I may not be; I haven't been to Caswell in several years now), Fort Caswell was first erected around the time of the Revolutionary War, and remained in operation (although to differing degrees) through the end of World War II. Now it serves as a Baptist retreat center, however. An interesting retirement for a military installation, no doubt. ( ;

So, while the fort-exploring part of my inner child wasn't entirely satisfied, I got all that I could out of walking on and around Fort Fisher, and then we went too the aquarium. I love aquariums. I don't like them QUITE as much as I like zoos, but aquariums (aquaria?) do have one feature that most zoos will never be able to compete with them on: AIR CONDITIONING!! Even though I'm an "adult" and I "know everything", I always find out something new when I visit an aquarium, zoo, or museum...even if it's an inconsequential bit of knowledge that I will never use except perhaps to show off my mastery of trivia at a party or something. I had no idea before this week just how many types of shark there were that lived in North Carolina waters! In my mind, sharks have always been sort of warm water predators, and while I know we're close to the Gulf of Mexico, I'd always assumed we were north of the massive warm-water current that flows north and east across the Atlantic Ocean (it's reall cool, it is! I found out a year or two ago that this current does some serious work to warm the temperatures of the Northern Atlantic, and accounts for a lot of the reason why the British Isles have a climate more comparable to that of Maryland or Pennsylvania, instead of Newfoundland (which is is much closer to in latitude). Either I'm wrong (which is possible), or sharks are a lot tougher than I thought (which is also highly likely), because I'm pretty sure the exhibit I saw listed over a dozen sharks native to waters off the coast of NC!

One of the coolest and most unexpected things I saw, though, was in the "wetlands" exhibit at the aquarium. The NC Aquarium is the home to an albino alligator! Albinism is caused by a genetic mutation that causes the skin not to produce melanin (it's either that or melatonin. I get those two mixed up all the time...although I'm PRETTY sure melanin is correct in this case), a chemical that causes pigmentation in the skin. Because albino creatures have no coloration, they are extremely susceptible to sunburn (something I can tell you all about, even though no one could mistake me for albino because I'm freckled), the exhibit the gator was housed in (which was in a greenhouse-like wing that had been modeled to resemble a wetlands environment) had been constructed with UV-blocking glass. Apparently albino gators are very rare. I read a little information while I was there, and only about 50 are known to exist in the world, and most of them have been raised by one breeder. This man had one breeding pair of gators that both possessed the recessive genes for albinism, and so a percentage of the eggs they produced hatched into albinos. Most of these glorious freaks of nature (because let's face it...that's what mutated creatures really are! ^_~ ) are either sold or leased to museums, zoos, and aquariums across the world. However, when hurricane Katrina hit a few years ago, the breeding pair that produced albino eggs got separated, and no known albino alligators have been hatched since that time. I have a few photos from the aquarium, but not too many. My camera is and old and fairly unsophisticated digital camera; it doesn't take pictures well at all in dark environments, and for some reason every aquarium I've ever been to has always had very muted lighting!

There's a possibility we might leave this afternoon, instead of tomorrow. It would cut our vacation "short" a day, but also give us some time to re-adjust to our natural habitat and have Sunday as a day of rest before having to get up and tackle the week ahead. I think mum might already be starting to feel anxious about the amount of work that's piled up for her this week, lil sis is preparing to move into the dorm, and my classes start week as well. We've all got a LOT on our plates, but at least I know I've got a paycheck (albeit a meager one!) waiting for me at home. Whether we do leave tomorrow, or later today, I guess it is time to try to get back into the frame of mind of the "real world". I've got textbooks to buy, jobs to apply for, and while I'm waiting to receive my rejection letters (I know, I know...I shouldn't have such a negative attitude about job hunting), I've got a restaurant to work at so that I can afford gas and tuition. I can't tell you how much I'll miss this, though. It's been amazing to be able to come downstairs every morning, take a seat at the kitchen table, and just write. And being able to look 6 inches above the screen of my laptop and have a clear view of the ocean above the dunes...that's been wonderful. I've felt inspired. I've felt calmer. Although I don't feel like I feel different, I know that I do - I was a stressed out wreck when we left, but now, even though the stress is still there, I feel better capable of dealing with it. Maybe time is a factor - a week ago I was days and days away from any significant landmarks, and I hate waiting (the single hardest part for me about applying for college, applying for grad school, and now applying for jobs is having to wait for an answer. I remember my last girlfriend just about drove me crazy with that as well; on the night I asked her out, she asked for a couple days to think about it. When I tentatively brought it up again a few days later, I was a complete nervous wreck, but I remember she told me "I knew I was going to say yes. I just like to take some time to think through decisions."). Now, when I get back home, I'll have things to jump directly into without having to worry about second-guessing myself, or overthinking the problems that may arise. If given too much time to think, I'm a horrible worry-wort. If given just enough time to plan and act, I think I'd be perfectly content.

It's been a good week.

Vacation post 6: Apparently I think about sleeping a lot. Like, a LOT a lot.

There were thunderstorms again last night. Normally, I sleep damn well during storms, but maybe it was a worse storm than I'm used to, or maybe it had something to do with being in a new setting, but I woke up during this one. When the "I just woke up in the middle of the night" daze passed and I realized what was going on, I vaguely remember smiling, and then rolling over to go back to sleep. I can only assume that I succeeded, because I don't remember anything past that until I woke up for realsies this morning. It's the strangest thing, I think, but no matter if I'm on vacation or just going through my normal routine at home, I pretty much always wake up before my alarm goes off in the morning. Sometimes (especially if I've been very tired) it will only be a few minutes before, but more often my body gears up about 15-30 minutes before it's "supposed" to. This is pretty much a universal thing; it doesn't matter what time I've got my alarm set for, and I've never understood why.

Anyway, the weather has let off some. The view from the window I see is an interesting admixture of what I've described in days past. The ocean is an almost stony gray, but the sky holds tints of its familiar blue, in the places it's not blotted out by heavy clouds. The horizon is also clearly visible, although it's not the razor-sharp edge I remember from a few days back. All in all, things seem calm, but also subdued. I have a feeling there are going to be more storms later in the day. For now, though, I intend to enjoy the semi-bright dawn.

Yesterday was mostly a do-nothing sort of day. We didn't really make any plans for the day, and boy did we stick to them! Except for a few quick jaunts out to the beach, and a trip to the supermarket to pick up another gallon of water and a few other things, we stayed in the house for most of the day. At some point in the afternoon I ever fell asleep, which was highly unexpected; I have a HORRIBLE time trying to sleep during the day. At home, I have heavy light-blocking blinds in my bedroom window, and I still habitually wake up before my alarm goes off. If those blinds weren't there, I have a feeling that I'd rise with the sun fairly often, whether I wanted to or not. This would definitely not be a good move for someone who tends to stay up as late as I do. For the past week, however, it hasn't bothered me quite as much. For one thing, it gives me a chance to sit down relatively undisturbed and write (which, as I think I mentioned previously, is something I've been trying to get back into for quite a while). For another, I've been going to bed earlier than I normally would at home. Last night was the latest I'd stayed up in days (and I wouldn't have even done that, but lil sis and I were watching a Eureka marathon on the "Syfy" channel), and even then I was in bed just a little past midnight. I didn't take my nightly pilgrimage to the pier and back, but that's ok, because I was able to go during the afternoon with mum and lil sis. I showed mum the sea turtle nests that we came across last night, and once she knew what to look for, she identified another one that we hadn't noticed before, way back in the dunes! I walked about half the distance in the water (instead of at the water's edge), and it made a HUGE difference. I have long legs and a fairly quick gait, so normally when I'm out walking with my family (who are all at least several inches shorter than me) I have to check my speed or I'll end up several yards ahead of the others. Wading like I was yesterday, though, it was all I could do just to keep up against the disorienting motion of the tides, and at times I was even lagging behind! It was much more of a workout as well; by the time we got back to the house, I could really feel all the work I'd done in my ankles and thighs.

So, what else did I do yesterday? Aside from lamenting the fact that I didn't bring another book to read (yesterday was a lovely, low-impact day that was perfect for reading, and I'd already finished my book!), I spent some quality time with Newmark (which is the name I gave to my laptop). After my morning writing, I had a bit of inspiration left so I sat down and typed up a quick fiction. I've yet to go back and look at it a second time, so it probably sucks. Maybe it will be presentable after some editing, though! During the afternoon, after lunch and the exhausting walk through the ocean, Newmark and I decided to play Knytt Stories. Knytt Stories is a cute little game that I downloaded several months ago and never had much of a chance to play. It's a side-veiw platform/puzzle game that gives you infinite lives, a satisfying number of save points, and an entire world to explore. While each "level" has a specific goal you're supposed to achieve (rescue Baby Knytt, move all the animals to safety, foil the sinister plans of the evil Dr. Cliché, etc.), most of the game revolves around exploring the world to find power-ups that help you better explore the world. Especially on the easy levels, it's a low-stress game to play (especially nice that there's no time limit on the game), and while the graphics are quite simple, they're very pretty as well, and the background music is superb! Aside from the "base package", apparently one can also download additional levels, which I fully intend to do once I get back to the Internet.

In fact, I'd give a high recommendation for Knytt Stories to anyone who likes exploration and puzzle games, and as soon as I've got the address for the site you can download the game from, you bet I'll be posting it here!

Vacation post 5: Missed Connections

"I've actually tried to be very careful this week; I do sunburn very easily, so I've been making sure to cover up sufficiently, limit my time in direct sunlight, and put on sunscreen (which I absolutely despise having to wear) if I'm going to be out for a prolonged time. So far, so good! We'll see if I can keep it up for the rest of the week. ( ;"

Well, this shouldn't be much of a problem after all! Yesterday some thunderstorms came in about mid-afternoon, and "suggested" that we should go back inside for the day. Things cleared up by evening, and we went out for a VERY nice seafood dinner at a place called The Fish House. That place was delicious! And it was a very good deal for seafood as well. Seafood is normally well out of my price range, so it's a lovely treat to be able to get a seafood dinner at the beach! Since I haven't been to the beach in some time, I bet you can imagine how long it's been since I last had "real" seafood (Long John Silver doesn't count, naturally)! Anyhow, The Fish House was about as expensive as I expected it to be (actually a bit more than I'd expected, but considering how the price of food items has risen in the past few years I'm pretty sure it was still reasonable), but what surprised me was the food! For the price we ended up paying, I got time-and-a-half as much food as I was expecting! And it was very, VERY delicious. I got a plate with shrimp and broiled scallops, and it may have been one of the most delicious meals I've ever eaten.

The busboy(?) at the restaurant also caught my attention. She(!!!) was extraordinarily cute, in an understated sort of way. Her features were such that she looked like she was smiling even when she wasn't, and when she did smile (at one point during the salad course she came over to our table to give us tableware and napkins, apparently having forgotten that she'd already done it about 10-15 minutes before. When we realized what was happening, she and I and mum all broke into one of those "this is going to be a funny story tomorrow, but since I don't know you it all just feels awkward" laughs) it was positively dazzling.

...And so naturally mum had to go and ruin it all by saying I should flirt with her. Maybe it's just me, but there are few things I find more disconcerting than having my MOTHER telling me to try to make a move on someone. Either she really wants me to start dating again for some reason I can't fathom, or this is part of some all-too-subtle plan to ensure that I never date again! :D

Lil sis joined me in my walk to the pier last night, and although thunderstorms had come in earlier in the day, the sky was almost clear by the time the sun set. The stars over the ocean were absolutely beautiful. And while it would be my habit to go off on a semi-coherent ramble about the stars at this point, there's something much more exciting to talk about instead...baby sea turtles! Now, we didn't actually get to see any, but as we were walking toward the pier, we came to a point where there were about a dozen points of light and the silhouettes of even more people standing at a point toward the top of the beach. Curious about what was going on, I went up there to find out what was going on, and the people were standing around a sea turtle nest where a bunch of baby turtles had hatched! Unfortunately, we missed the main thrust of them...apparently most of the nest had successfully migrated to the sea about a half-hour before we got there, but there was one turtle left in the next. It must have been the runt of the litter, because it was having all sorts of trouble getting out of the next. We stayed around and watched for a few minutes before deciding to continue our walk; we decided we'd come back and check on the sea turtle's progress on our way back to the house. Sadly, even though we finished our walk and started to come back, nothing new had happened, and most of the crowd had dispersed. Maybe tomorrow night (which would be tonight) I remember one of the people there saying (there were a couple people there who were trained to work with sea turtles. I can't remember the name of their organization, or I'd totally give them a shout-out and a link to their website when I get back to the Internet!). They also pointed out another nest not even 10 yards away! This one was closer to the water's edge and, according to the people there, the nest had been created only about a week before. I don't know how long it takes sea turtle eggs to hatch, but how exciting would it be if this nest hatched while we were at the beach as well? Baby sea turtles!

And when I woke up this morning, it was thunderstorming again. It's amazing how different the ocean looks like that. The sky and water both are a steely gray, and instead of the severe slash that separates air from water the horizon blurs so you can't tell at all where one ends and the other begins. [insert poetic reference to the majesty of being utterly surrounded by the elements here]

I don't think we have any set plans for today. Maybe if the weather clears up by afternoon, lil sis and I will finally go out and try to fly our kite, or build a sand-sculpture (so far we have heavy lobbying for "giant ghost crab" from mum), and if it doesn't I reckon it will just be a lazy day around the house!

Vacation post 4: Are you a pelican or a peliCAN'T?

I've resigned myself to the fact that I'm not going to be able to do anything productive this week. Part of me is frustrated and disappointed about that, but for the most part I'm perfectly at peace with that realization. While this week would have been a great opportunity to do things such as, say, apply for new jobs, the simple fact of the matter is that I'm limited to what resources I have available to me, and right now access to any sort of job listings database isn't among my them. ( ;

If I've done anything worth mentioning, it's that I've kind-of-sort-of found an escape from the writer's block that's been plaguing me for some time. While I may not be writing the way I want to, at least I'm writing. I have to say that starting each morning by waking up, brushing my teeth, and typing up what will eventually become a blog post, has been a real refresher. It's nice to be able to engage my mind in that manner, and more often than I typically have a chance to. This week I've also dabbled in a little bit of pleasure writing, too. It's nothing worth speaking of, but even a few paragraphs of fiction is a victory for someone who hasn't felt able to write in months! I have to say that one of the biggest pressures that may have been holding me back was the end of Requiem and the planning stages of Avernus. I don't multi-task extremely well and can better interact with ideas in serial, one at a time. I've wondered from time to time if I might have some glimmering of an attention deficit disorder, since in normal life I tend to be distracted very easily, and when I'm not distracted I tend more to hyper-focus. This is just idle wondering, though; I absolutely REFUSE to "self-diagnose" that condition. Mostly my refusal comes from social frustration; I have heard too many people use the excuse of "undiagnosed ADD/ADHD" to try to magic away breaches of social grace or good manners. In a few instances it could very well be true...but more often it seems like people simply flagrantly misuse ADD and ADHD in the same way people misuse "random" and "hyper". For some reason, this really bothers me! I'm usually very forgiving about people taking a casual or playful approach toward grammar, because I thrive off that sort of things; honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if close to a third of what I say devolves into some form or wordplay, punnery, or abuse of the rules of grammar (homophones are lovely, when it comes to things like that. Rhyming words as well). But for some reason there are just a few words that I feel adamantly must be used with precision. "ADD", "random", and "hyper" are definitely high up on the list. And whenever (ha!) a person says "whenever" when it would be more appropriate to simply say "when"?...for some reason that really makes my blood boil! I've not got the slightest idea why, though.

So far we've not done any of the "classic" beach things that people do; in spite of all our talk, lil sis and I haven't played in the ocean, we haven't built a sand castle (or a sand anything...although we did see a really good sand sculpture of a sea turtle the other day! I've got a photo of it, so I'll put it up as soon as I'm able), and we haven't flown a kite. We haven't been townies and homebodies by a long shot, however! I've spent hours out on the beach, and it's become sort of my habit to walk to the nearest pier (about a mile away) and back at sunset, or just after it. It's cooler than making the same trek in the middle of the day, and with the sun having taken it's leave for the day, a person as light-skinned as I am has a LOT less to worry about when it comes to getting sunburned! I've actually tried to be very careful this week; I do sunburn very easily, so I've been making sure to cover up sufficiently, limit my time in direct sunlight, and put on sunscreen (which I absolutely despise having to wear) if I'm going to be out for a prolonged time. So far, so good! We'll see if I can keep it up for the rest of the week. ( ;

Vacation post 3: Enter the Unexpected

"When I acknowledge that my own action isn't the most powerful force in my life, all is right with the world."

The words I wrote yesterday were a surprising premonition. All I have to say about that is, "...wow". As it turns out, there really WAS some higher power at work yesterday, or at leave forces beyond my control. What started out as a day of casual sight-seeing ended up not happening, and most of the afternoon was spent at the local hospital. Now, I don't need people to start worrying; the hospital stay was more of a precautionary act than anything else, and everyone is just fine now. There are definitely those moments of uncertainty when you don't know what's going on, however.

Aside from the more transcendental aspects of being at the shore (I stood at the water's edge again yesterday, this time to watch the sunset, instead of watching the moon rise. It was amazing), the vacation way of things has been an interesting adjustment to have to make. For one thing, the site we're staying at (an older beach home that's only a few dunes away from the ocean itself!) has no Internet connection, wired or wireless. Normally the 'Net plays a HUGE role in my daily life, probably taking up the second greatest amount of my time, after work (I'm not sure how school factors into that equation, because it DOES take up a good deal of my time when classes are in session, but I do most of my coursework on-line). I may venture out to a coffee shop later today. If I do, I'll be posting this entry from there, and it will be the first time I've connected to the world wide web in three days. Interestingly enough, my phone activity has plummeted as well. My own participation in that is pretty apparent - if the past few posts haven't given any indication, I have a strong tendency toward introspection, and when I'm in that state of mind I'm far less likely to initiate contact with people. Aside from a handful of short phonecalls to my dad, though, and periodic updates from Twitter (I linked Twitter to my mobile back when I was only following 3-4 people. I think it may be time to reevaluate that decision [laugh]), I've been in a state of relative isolation. It's been interesting to re-center myself, even for a couple of days, in a way that isn't buzzing with activity from social networks, and networking websites. I have to say I think the only thing I don't care too much for is that I'd hoped to continue working on some job applications whilst I was on vacation, and I haven't had a chance to do that because I've lacked an Internet connection. Hopefully I'll be able to submit one or two by the end of the week, depending on circumstances!

This vacation has sort of become symbolic to me. I'm starting to view it less as a getaway, and more of a time of transition. After this, I'm not going to be satisfied to settle for what I've had in the past. A new semester at school will be starting (my first on-campus class is scheduled for the Wednesday after I get back to town!), and I see no reason why I shouldn't be starting a new direction for my work as well. Without going into frustrating and boring details, the place I work at has undergone some drastic revision of work policies "in order to absorb the cost of the minimum wage increase". In my own personal opinion, with the direction the store has been going for the past several months, I think the Spartan employee benefits we actually recieve were the LAST things that needed to be revised...but who am I to argue that it won't save money if I'm not allowed to see the numbers? I'd been a little leery for some time about the work environment of my current job, but things all got put into perspective for me a few weeks ago. I took some time off to work at a three-week summer school/camp being hosted at a high school in a nearby city. The school I was working at was low-performing (some have cynically suggested that the the school being approved as an IB school was a ploy to get high-achieving students into the school and raise average test scores), had high levels of poverty, and a serious gang presence. In addition, I was having to commute almost an hour every day (instead of my usual 15 minutes). But in spite of all that, I was still MUCH happier working at that school than I had been at my current job for a very, very long time. That's not the way things are supposed to be, I decided, and it was my responsibility to change them. It's been a disheartening journey so far - many of the jobs I was most excited about I found out I didn't meet the minimum requirements for, and the ones I felt most qualified for have rejected me so far. I'm not particularly fond of being told "no" when it comes to something I really want, but I'm trying to take a long-term view of things: a good job is like a good relationship - it's not something you'll hate waking up for every morning, and you'll know it when the right one comes along. Two things in life to look forward to. ;)

On a less somber note, I unexpectedly ran into a friend yesterday whilst in Southport! After the bulk of the hospital adventure had ended, mum suggested we ought to go get something to eat (it was late afternoon by that point, and we hadn't really had anything aside from breakfast cereal all day), and lil sis suggested a place called Trolley Stop, a tiny little place a few blocks back from the Intracoastal Waterway (I STILL want to call it a sound, but apparently that's incorrect...). The Trolley Stop is famous for its hot dogs. Now, normally I don't like hot dogs (I know, right? I'm SO un-American.), but lil sis insisted that they were delicious there, and recommended I get a veggie dog since "they make you feel less gross" when you eat them. They were both good suggestions - I really enjoyed my Chicago-style veggie dog (although for some reason, I think that "Chicago-style" negates the "veggie" ;-P )! Whilst I was standing in line trying to figure out what I was going to eat, a heard a voice from further back in the line. "...Alan?" I looked back, and it was my friend Britt! Britt was a counselor at the same camp I worked at this summer, but she worked at a different site (each year, this camp operates at 3 different sites). I had NO expectations to run into anyone I knew, let alone someone I'd worked with so recently! She was there with some of her family. A bit later on her little brother caught me aside and basically gave me the 3rd degree about how I knew his sister. It was hilarious but also really heart-warming to see that kind of familial concern from someone so much younger than me.

So far I've spent every morning writing whilst looking out at the ocean. I think this is what life is supposed to be like.

Vacation post 2: Walden by the sea

It seems like, no matter who you are, there's something about saying "going to the beach" that lights a spark in a person's eyes. For some people, I'm sure it must be all the campy beach shops and other touristy attractions. Some people are total beach bums/beach bunnies, and want to spend every waking moment on the water's edge. I even know a person or two who get most excited about the prospect of eating "real" seafood.

I'm a city boy; there's pretty much nothing I can do to deny that. Although I grew up in a county that had just gotten big enough to fund and populate it's own public school (a K-12 school - we weren't having to share facilities with the next county over any more!), I really began to come into my own when I was introduced to the cities of the world. I moved at a fairly young age from this little county to a suburban community, and then to a small city at a fairly young age. I learned how to "live city", but because I was still in a transitional sort of place (too big to be anything less than suburban, but still small enough that calling it a "real city" would be laughable). It wasn't until just a few years ago when I got my first exposure to some of the world's metropoles (metropolises?) that I realized just how deep my connections went. I spent 6 months in London doing research as an udnergraduate, and in the time I was there I began to live and breath the city. For no reason I could fathom, I had an almost intuitive understanding of the rhythms of the city. A few days before I had to fly back to the United States, one of the directors of my "programme" told me "you've been here a few months, and already you're as much a Londoner as someone who lives here." When I went to New York for the first time a year or two ago, it was even easier. I was there a week with my family (mum was there for a conference; lil sis and I came along to sight-see), and by the third day I had to bite my tongue to keep from complaining about "all the tourists". Budapest was probably my greatest adventure of all. Along with languages like English, Arabic, and Chinese, Hungarian is supposed to be one of the most difficult languages in the world to learn. Despite this extreme language barrier, I managed to have an incredible time there...although I really would have wished for closer company. Most of my days were spent in solitary exploration of the city, and being a slim redhead (moreso then than now; I've put on a few pounds since then) in a city full of stocky, olive-skinned natives made me begin to feel a little bit homesick.

But while the city may be my heart, it's in nature that you'll find my soul. I've already mentioned some of the reasons people may love to go to the beach, but as we were planning this trip, there was only one thought that kept coming back to my mind, that quickened my pulse and caught my imagination. I wanted to stand at the very edge of the water, to feel the sand beneath my toes and the tide washing up around my ankles. When you close your eyes, all you can feel is the sea breeze encompassing you. The sound of crashing waves drowns out most other things. The wet sand is firm until the tide rolls over your feet; then it feels as if it dissolves away, and there's that moment's sensation (no matter how firmly your feet are planted) that you're going to fall backward. Open your eyes and the first thing they'll be drawn to is the stark slash of light-blue against dark-blue, where the hazy sky ends and the ocean takes its place. It looks like some heavenly power took a ruler and a fine-tip pen and declared "this is where one shall end, and the other begin." It amazes me that, although hundreds of years of scientific teaching have convinced me that the earth is round, that the curvature is so slight that it appears completely flat. More than flat, it appears that the horizon had an EDGE...and I would believe that Thule, or Avalon, or the far shores of some other mystical kingdom were waiting for me on the other side. There's an incredible sense of wonder in standing at the edge of the ocean.

And that's what I look forward to most when I come to the beach. While I live according to the rhythms of the city, the city life and city pace is essentially human; it places the individual, and the accomplishments of individual people at the highest tier of acheivement. To me, cities sanctify humanity at the pinnacle of creation. To visit the mountains or, especially, the beach, and to immerse myself in the elements of nature (even of those elements have been "tamed" to the needs and whims of vaction-goers) is a lesson in humility and powerlessness. NO matter what I do, or how great I become, I'll never match even a fraction of the power of the wind, or the majesty of the ocean, or the wildness and revel of the sandy shores where all these forces meet the earth. When I acknowledge that my own action isn't the most powerful force in my life, all is right with the world. To stand at the edge of the ocean is an act of worship, a thanksgiving to nothing and to everything all at once.

Vacation post 1: Roundabouts and Turnarounds

After spending most of the day on the road, we finally arrived at Oak Island about mid-afternoon yesterday. Although none of us really wanted to have woken up as early as we did, we left the house in the mindset that this was, in fact, vacation...and we treated it that way from the first step. Rather than grabbing a quick bowl of cereal and some fruit before we left the house, we stopped at a Cracker Barrel along the way and enjoyed a nice "sit-down" breakfast. That's something we rarely ever do.

I guess I should backtrack just a little bit. I'm on vacation this week. All week long, with my mother and my little sister. I spend a fairly substantial amount of time with my family, I suppose you could say, but there's a big difference between living and visiting with someone, and vacationing with them. I went into this trip, too, with high expectations. I haven't been on a vacation in over a year. I've taken days off from work to pursue fun diversions, like concerts and whatnot, but the closest I've had to a vacation was a weekend hiking trip I took with a friend back in February. My last "real" vacation was the trip my family took to the Monterey Bay in California, a graduation present for my sister and I, some time ago (I got my bachelor degree, and she made the all-important goal of graduating from high school within a week of each other!). Furthermore, we were going to Oak Island, a fairly quiet little island off the coast of NC, with one side facing the ocean, and the other side facing the sound. It doesn't have nearly the same glamour and glitz as the Outer Banks (which are further up the coastline, toward Virginia), but it's a lovely little island. Why did it matter so much that we were going to Oak Island? My mum and sis have gone several times in the past few years, for a weekend or a few days, or occasionally a slightly longer stay, but because of a demanding school schedule and an almost-as-demanding work schedule, I hadn't been able to go along with them to the beach since sometime in high school. I was about past due for a healthy dose of sand and surf!

The route we took was a pretty interesting one. We left home about 8 in the morning, and travelled east, reaching Oak Island via Asheboro...by way of the NC Zoo! What is this? Going to the zoo on the WAY to vacation? That's like two trips in one! Madness!

We had been to the zoo two other times this summer, but both trips had been last-minute, spur of the moment ideas, and we'd only been able to see about half the exhibits each time. The NC Zoo is split roughly in half - there's a North America exhibit, and an Africa exhibit, and right in the middle is Junction Plaza and just a little beyond that is the Sonora Desert exhibit (technically part of North America, but it's set so far off from everything else, it seems like it's own separate entity!). I love desert wildlife (although I'm not sure if it's a symptom or a cause of my love for the book "Dune" by Frank Herbert), and I'd been very disappointed that on our last couple trips, we hadn't had time to trek into the center of the zoo to see it. This time, though, my patience was rewarded, and we got to see Sonoran creatures in all their glory! The coolest part was something I wasn't expecting - there was a section of the exhibit that was down a darkened hallway and led to displays of nocturnal animals! I was able to get within feet of fascinating little beasties like sidewinders and couatis...and even real, honest to goodness vampire bats! I tried to get some photos, but as I'm sure you can imagine, camera + dark room does NOT equal very good opportunities, especially since I didn't want to turn on my camera's flash and potentially startle the animals.

Equally cool, although not the center of my obsession like the desert exhibit was, was a recently-added feature of the zoo. Called "Acacia Station", this new site is an observation deck that affords a great veiw of a portion of the Africa exhibit, especially the habitat where the giraffes, zebras, and ostriches roam. That itself is pretty cool, but the real draw is that during the middle of the day, giraffe feeding takes place there! My understanding is that eventually Acacia Station will be a paid attraction ($2 admission during meal-times, or something like that), but at the moment it's free. Even if a giraffe doesn't come and get right up in yo' grill, I say it's still worth checking out for the view!

And that was the first leg of our vacation trip. It was a hot, hot day, but there's something about being at a zoo that always makes me feel younger and more playful in spite of oppressive weather. Once we felt like we'd sweated enough, though (and had made sure to see the Sonora Desert exhibit!), we trooped back to the car for the main thrust of the trip. A quick mid-trip stop at Sonic for refreshment (I'd never had their cherry limeade before; it was pretty good!), and then on to Oak Island!